Objective 1:
How to Write Descriptions (of Things)

The Lesson

1. Good descriptions understand and anticipate the reader's point of view: they meet reader needs.

Good descriptions solve problems for the reader. They are not just a list of features or parts (see below), but instead they reveal the significance of the thing described:

• What is the overall framework, arrangement, or shape?
• What relationship do the parts have to each other? To their intended functions?
• Why do the parts fit or move as they do?
• How does this thing or its parts compare with other, more familiar things?

2. Analysis of examples shows how the "hidden features" above are present in good descriptions and absent in poor ones:

Poor descriptions	Good descriptions
dictionary definition of an egg beater--"rotary beater for eggs or liquid" [no comparisons, incomplete]	Macaulay and Ardley, description of --an egg beater, p.44 --a nail clipper, p.23
itemized parts inventory for any do-it-yourself furniture [confusing, no relations]	S. Pauley description of an automatic center punch, pp. 38-40 H.D. Thoreau, Walden, p. 87 bird sounds at evening

The Exercises

Appropriate exercises depend on the performance level of the students.

Level 1, preliminary

Ask students to identify the problem-solving features of good descriptions and to list missing features of poor descriptions (especially in matched pairs, as above). Repeat until the identifications are reliable.

Level 2, basic

Ask student to revise poor (incomplete or inappropriate) descriptions to make them more helpful to the reader (could include discussion of found flaws or comparison of proposed repairs among students).

Good descriptions with specific features intentionally removed will help focus attention on learning specific revisions.

Level 3, mature

Ask students to draft good descriptions of familiar kitchen or garden tools or devices (can opener, sprinkler), and perhaps get feedback on adequacy from another student. Use the list in 1.B above as criteria for adequacy.

(In classes with specialized technical content, such as biology, all three levels can draw their description cases from the subject area rather than from household tools.)

Relevant Background References

Linda Flower (1981). Problem-Solving Strategies for Writing. 

       New York: Harcourt,  Brace, Jovanovitch. 

David Macauley and Neil Ardley (1998). The New Way Things  Work. 

       Boston: Houghton Mifflin. 

Steven Pauley (1973). Technical Report Writing  Today. 

       Boston: Houghton Mifflin.