Teacher Notes on Instruction-Writing Exercises

Exercise 11: How to clean mildew

Goal:

To improve explicit draft instructions by using any relevant aspect of the guidelines, including risk (warning) management. This noncooking exercise reviews and reinforces the same basic instruction-writing techniques as introduced in the cooking recipes of Exercises 1 through 7.

Strategy:

Exercise 11 poses much the same problems as Exercise 6 (the instructions look good superficially but turn out to have inadequacies upon closer inspection of the seemingly overt steps). Hence the strategy comments on Exercise 6 also apply here (read over all steps, note that fixing some obvious problems, such as missing action verbs, reveals secondary problems to fix, such as multiple steps crammed together as one). Exercise 11 shows students that what they have learned about writing good instructions from the cooking recipes examined in Exercises 1 through 7 applies directly to noncooking instructions too (such as this set of cleaning instructions). Warning placement (introduced in Exercise 3) is reviewed here as well. Exercises 6 and 11 could serve as alternative or comparative small-group assignments or homework.
STUDENT VERSION:
This is another scaffolded but unworked example.
ANNOTATED VERSION:
As with Exercises 6 and 7, this shows full problem analysis and overt proposed solutions added among the scaffolding along the right side (for easy comparison with each original step).

Case:

Student version:

(11) How to clean mildew (mold) from household surfaces


Combine
    in a plastic bucket or pail
    of any color or shape----------------PROBLEM:
    the ingredients for a                SOLUTION:
    mold-killing solution:
    warm water---------------------------PROBLEM:
    liquid chlorine bleach               SOLUTION:
    powdered laundry detergent

Fill
    a plastic spray bottle
    with the cleaning solution
    and then spray it onto---------------PROBLEM:
    the moldy surface.                   SOLUTION:
    When the black mildew
    turns white, it is dead.

The best thing
    to do next is to rinse---------------PROBLEM:
    the sprayed area with                SOLUTION:
    fresh water and towel
    dry or ventilate thoroughly.

Take precautions:------------------------PROBLEM:
    (a) wear rubber gloves               SOLUTION:
        when you work with
        the solution.
    (b) test it on an obscure
        area before you spray
        a large, painted surface.

Annotated version:

(11) How to clean mildew (mold) from household surfaces


Combine
    in a plastic bucket or pail
    of any color or shape----------------PROBLEM: IRRELEVANT DETAILS
    the ingredients for a                SOLUTION: omit them, shorten
    mold-killing solution:
    warm water---------------------------PROBLEM: NEEDED DETAILS MISSING
    liquid chlorine bleach               SOLUTION: specify how much--
    powdered laundry detergent                     3 quarts water
                                                   1 quart bleach
                                                   1/3 cup detergent

Fill
    a plastic spray bottle
    with the cleaning solution
    and then spray it onto---------------PROBLEM: TWO STEPS COMBINED
    the moldy surface.                   SOLUTION: separate--
    When the black mildew                          Fill the bottle...
    turns white, it is dead.                       Spray the surface...

The best thing
    to do next is to rinse---------------PROBLEM: NO OVERT COMMAND(s)
    the sprayed area with                SOLUTION: action verbs--
    fresh water and towel                          Rinse...
    dry or ventilate thoroughly.                   Towel dry...

Take precautions:------------------------PROBLEM: WARNINGS BEFORE USE
    (a) wear rubber gloves               SOLUTION: make these the FIRST
        when you work with                         steps, not last
        the solution.
    (b) test it on an obscure
        area before you spray
        a large, painted surface.

Note:

This exercise most closely supports the following 1998 California English-Language Arts content standard(s).
Reading:
Grade 7--"Analyze text that uses the cause-and-effect organizational pattern" (p. 42).
Grade 9/10--"Critique the logic of functional documents by examining the sequence of information...in anticipation of possible reader misunderstandings" (p. 57).
Writing:
Grade 7--"Revise writing to improve organization and word choice after checking the logic of ideas..." (p. 44).
Grade 8--"Write technical documents...identify the sequence of activities needed to design a system, operate a tool..." (p. 51).